I didn’t realize it had been so long since I’d written anything.

I’m doing all right. I have good days and bad ones. I fear I’m going to have to go back to the doctor to switch meds yet again. I’ve been having more bad days lately. It’s been nearly 2 years since I was diagnosed, the only difference I can spot is having more control over my emotions.

R is thriving. I feel I’m failing him on a daily basis. I try so hard. My husband will be gone for 6 weeks this summer, and I am dreading it. We are going to visit my parents right before. I’m looking forward to that.

I was having a good day. I got the bright idea to watch We Need to Talk About Kevin. Trigger overload. I exercised after, but barely made it through. I wish I could just get out of my own head for once.

I know what my triggers are. Instead of avoiding them, I find myself going out of my way to give them something to feed on. I need to stop. I feel so low right now.

PPD lies. PPD hurts. PPD steals everything from me, makes me anxious and uncomfortable in my own skin.