Up.

This week is so good.

I’ve consistently exercised. It’s been beautiful out, R and I have been going on walks. He loves being outside. He squeals at everything, and is usually fast asleep around the time we get back home. It makes him so happy, he’s in a great mood the rest of the day. So am I.

He’s begun solids, the past few days have been carrots. He loves them. He’s getting so big, and he’s so much fun these days.

My mind has been pretty clear. I feel so good all the time. I haven’t been emotionally eating, I just haven’t felt the need. Who knew that finally taking care of yourself would make you feel so much better?

Here’s a picture of my Bubs, crazy hair and all.

Sore.

I haven’t been able to exercise all week. I did something to my ankle and it hurts. On top of my thumb already hurting me. My mood isn’t so great.

I’m so home sick. I want to go see my parents. I want R to see them. I want out of this town. I feel like I’m drowning.

I hate these ups and downs. I want to feel as good as I have been all the time. I don’t know how to do that. I know that working out does lift my spirits, and that’s probably why I’ve been extra down this week.

I just want to go home.

Discouraged.

So much, right now.

I’ve been busting my butt for two weeks, lost 4 pounds, and don’t really see a difference in my body. I do feel better, and I’m not down as much as I used to be, but that doesn’t matter since I’m not getting thinner. Ugh.

R’s teething is awful right now. He screeches and chews furiously on anything he can get his hands on, including, well, his hands. Poor guy.

I have nothing else to say really. I’ve been trying to write for a few days, and nothing really comes out.

Happy.

R and Mama.

Just the two of us, having a pretty good day. I love my little guy so much.

Note: I am making the face to get him to smile. As you can see, it did not work. As a friend of mine said; he knows that he’s so adorable that he doesn’t need to smile to look good.

New Year, New Attitude. Hopefully.

Happy New Year.

I made resolutions. I sometimes do, and I end up failing. Not this year.

I want to finish my pharmacy tech program, go back to college; figure out what I want to do, learn French, lose weight and be healthier, and enjoy time with R.

I’ve stuck to the exercise and healthy stuff so far. I feel so much better, even though I’ve only been doing it regularly since Saturday. I’ve lost 4 pounds already.

R is growing like a weed. He will be 6 months old in 10 days. I look at him, and remember bringing that tiny 5 pound baby home from the hospital. He was never frail, just so little. He used to fit perfectly in my arm. I miss him falling asleep on me. I use to lay him on my chest and rock in the recliner, and he’d be out. He’s so big now, and quite the little character.

I need to find a new doctor to go to. I canceled my appointment the other day, because I hate going to that place. It’s attached to a psychiatric facility, and well, scares me a little. Last time I was there, someone had peed on the floor. There was a ‘wet floor’ sign near it, and it was taped off. I have no idea who to go to, so I need to start researching. I may just call my OB and see who else she recommends.

I am feeling much better. I don’t have the thoughts I’ve been struggling with. I know they might, and probably will, return, but I’m ready for them. I’ve been taking time for myself, and it really does help. I’ve always put myself last, and I need to bump myself up on my to do list.

If you haven’t read the last few posts fromĀ  http://thebloggess.com, I strongly recommend it. I love love love her.