I was afraid it would happen, after my few days of feeling fantastic. And it did, about an hour ago. I no longer have a problem being able to cry.

I don’t know what triggered it. Maybe that I can’t go grocery shopping when I want to. R doesn’t tolerate it, at all. He screams after 10 minutes. So, I’ve been going on the weekends so I don’t have to take him. This past weekend, I didn’t go. I needed to go yesterday, but I just can’t take R. I can’t concentrate when he starts yelling, and I’d just have to leave. I checked into a grocery store that shops for you, you just have to pick it up, but the fees they charge are ridiculous. My husband has been trying to get off early enough so I can go before the store closes, but that’s not happening tonight, he has to work late. I know I should just suck it up, go and get what I can, but I don’t want to. Ugh.

I’m just sad now. My husband and I have not been getting along well and I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to go too deep into it, but the fighting makes me want to go to my parent’s with R and not come back.

I have so many regrets. Not finishing college when I had the chance, not having a job, not being where I thought I would be at 26. It’s soul crushing.

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